FUNNY SIGNS IN THE PHILIPPINES

 

 

 

GAME SHOWS ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES

Game shows are quite popular in the Philippines. And if you watch these shows regularly, you’ll sometimes find yourselves hysterically laughing at the answers of some game show contestants.

Only in the Philippines.

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Host: Ano sa Ingles ang “hinlalaki”?
Contestant: Thumbmark

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Host: Ano ang ginagamitng mga swimmers para bumilis ang kanilang paglanggoy?
Contestant: Fast Shoes

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Host: Kung si Superman ay may Lois Lane, ano naman ang kay Robinhood?
contestant: Pana.

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Host: Anong “S” ang inuupuan pag nakasakay sa kabayo?
contestant: Silya

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Host: Ano ang karaniwang hugis ng manibela?
contestant: Triangular

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Host: Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube, pero tinatawag ng iba na boob tube. Ano ito?
contestant: Bra

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Host: Kelan ang Pasko sa Davao?
contestant: PASS…

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Host: Anong tawag sa isdang hindi bilasa?
contestant: tuyo

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Host: Ilan ang legs ng cartoon character na si Spiderman?
contestant: Eight

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Host: Ano ang nationality ng sanggol na may amang Filipino Catholic at Protestanteng Ina?
Contestant: American

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Host: Merong four seasons: winter, spring, summer, at fall. kelan nahuhulog ang mga dahon?
contestant: sa storm

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Host: Anong bukol ang makikita sa leeg ng mga lalaki?
contestant: Kiss mark

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Host: ano ang kulay ng orange juice kapag nilagay sa blue na baso?
contestant: …Violet

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Host: anong malambot na bahagi sa ulo ng sanggol?
contestant: batok

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Host: magbigay ng bagay na ipini-pin sadamit?
contestant: Hairpin

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Host: Ano ang nagpapaalat sa itlog na maalat?
contestant: Puti

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Host: ano ang tawag sa mga needle-like projections na nakasabit sa ceiling ng mga caves?
contestant: Ice pick

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Host: ano ang tawag sa plastic bag na lalagyan ng basura?
contestant: plastic bag na nilalagyan ng basura.

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Host: anong C ang paboritong kainin ng mga rabbit?
contestant: Cacamber

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Host: ang urine ay liquid: TRUE OR FALSE
contestant: False

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Host: anong ang system n g MAth na gumagamit ng symbols instead of numbers?
contestant: ummm…China?

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Host: anong ginawa ni MOses sa Red Sea?
contestant: Stop

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Host: what is the capital of the Philippines?
contestant: P

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Host: anong klaseng sapatos ang ginagamit ng mga basketbolista?
contestant: adidas

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Host: sino ang pumatay kay David?
contestant: Goliath

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host: ano ang tawag sa taong walang suot sa paa?
contestant: Slipperless

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Host: kung ang bulag ay blind ano naman ang english ng pipi?
contestant: Walang salita

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Host: anong sea creature ang kalahating kabayo at kalahating isda?
contestant: syokoy

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Host: ano ang nasa gitna ng donut?
contestant: palaman

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Host: ang salad dressing ba ay damit
contestant: (sandaling nagisip) YES!

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Host: Anong klaseng sasakyan ang inaayos sa hangar?
contestant: sirang sasakyan

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host: ano ang nilalagay sa sewing machine?
contestant: lagari?

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host: ilan taon meron sa leap year?
contestant: 365

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host: anong hayop ang di-nakakakita sa sa araw ngunit nakakakita sa dilim?
contestant: flashlight

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host: Ano ang tawag sa laro kung saan ang dalawang team ang naghihilahan sa isang lubid?
contestant: tumbang-preso

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host: kung manicure sa kamay, ano ang sa paa?
contestant: kuko

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host: ano ang isunusuot ng mg boksingero sa ulo nila bilang proteksyon?
contestant: Sumbrero

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host: ano ang tawag sa laman sa loob ng buto: marrow or muscle?
contestant: karne

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host: para saa ang anti-dandruff shampoo?
contestant: kuto

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host: anong englis ng ampalaya?
contestant: asparagus

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host: ilang metro mayroon sa 300 meters?
contestant: 3000

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host: anong sasakyan ang gamit sa “tour de france”?
contestant: Kalesa

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Host: ano ang kasunod ng kidlat?
contestant: sunog

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host: saan matatagpuan ang Quebec?
contestant: afghanistan

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host: tinuturo ang G-clef sa anong “M” na subject?
contestant: Mathematics

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host: ano ang halaman na tumitiklop kapag ito’y nahawakan?
contestant: Hiya-hiya

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host: ano ang itlog na ayon sa iba, nakakapagpatigas ng tuhod?
contestant: TAMA!

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host: ano ang isinusuot ng taong walang buhok?
contestant: Kalbo

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host: anong zip ang ginagamit sa pagbukas ng pantalon?
contestant: pagbukas ng bag

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host: anong “D” ang first word sa stanza ng JIngle bells?
contestant: dyingel?

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host: anong “H” ang tawag sa taong nagiisa?
contestant: home alone

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host: Sa anong bansa nakatira ang mga Hindu?
contestant: hindunesia

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host: kungang ubo ay sa bibig, ano naman ang sa ilong?
contestant: Vicks

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host: ano ang kulay ng strawberry?
contestant: ube

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host: anong klaseng animal ang Afghan Hound?
contestant: Afghanistan

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host: sinong American president ang nagkapolyo noong 1920’s
contestant: Apolinario Mabini..

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SINULOG HISTORY

Marvel and dance to the beat of the street drums as the Queen City of the South takes you to the grandest celebration in the Philippines, the Sinulog festival!

BACKGROUND

From a Cebuano word “sulog” which means “like water current movement”, the Sinulog dance is consists of two steps forward and one step backward done to the beat of the drum.  This dance-ritual is done in honor of Cebu’s patron Señor Sto, Niño (the Child Jesus).

HISTORY

When Ferdando de Magallanes, a Portuguese navigator, arrived in Cebu in 1521, he presented  the image of the child Jesus as a baptismal gift to Rahaj Humabon’s wife, Hara Amihan. She was later named Queen Juana.

This event is frequently used as basis for most Sinulog dances, which dramatize the coming of the Spaniards and the presentation of the Santo Niño to the Queen. A popular theme among Sinulog dances is Queen Juana holding the Santo Niño in her arms and using it to bless her people who are often afflicted by sickness caused by demons and other evil spirits.

THE COMING OF LEGAZPI

After Magellan met his death on April 27, 1521 on the shores of Mactan (ruled by Muslim Rajah Lapu-Lapu), the remnants of his men returned to Spain. However, it took 44 years before the Spaniards achieved some measure of success in colonizing the islands and eventually the whole Philippines.

The conquistador, Miguel López de Legazpi arrived in Cebu on April 28, 1565 and destroyed the village ruled by Rajah Tupas. In one of the huts of the burning village, one of Legazpi’s soldiers named Juan Camus found a wooden box containing the image of the Santo Niño lying amongst several native idols. Historians later said that during the 44 years between the coming of Magellan and Legazpi, the natives of Cebu continued to dance the Sinulog but no longer to worship their anitos but to show their reverence to the Santo Niño.

The Augustinian friars that accompanied Legazpi in his expedition proclaimed the statue miraculous and built a church on the site where it was found. The church was called San Agustin Church but was later renamed to the Basilica Minore del Santo Niño.